Jasmine Hart

Thanks guys. Is this better or worse?: A homing pigeon's beak slipped round my heart. It will not return once I set it free, Sure never to mourn when we ...

I love the first two lines, but I agree with Kit about the third, it felt like a little bit of a let down. I'm seriously impressed by how much ...

Wow, this was amazing. Beautifully, beautifully written. Though, in the fifth last line, did you mean to say "And you?" I love it. Your language was beautiful, and this was ...

The pace and flow of this were nice. It might be interesting to write this from a few different angles, playing around with imagery and the likes. I'm not sure ...

It's not lame, it just needs work.

This was lovely. The couplets were perfect, and the imagery was beautiful. I'd put a comma after "bitter", and a two syllabyl adjective before "glow", and change "on" to "upon". ...

This was really good. I'd put a hyphen between "sun" and "scorched", but, other than that, there's nothing I'd want changed.

I agree that this isn't your best work, but your descriptions are beautiful as usual, and your enjambment made it flow beautifully, which really complimented the made me feel very ...

I like it, though not as much as some of your other work. I'd scrap lines eleven to fourteen, as I felt that they were out of synch with the ...

Thanks Kit. I'm looking forward to it! Though I think I may need to skim over some of the last one first to refresh my memory...

Woah that was amazing. The suspense was brilliant, the ending was perfect, really chilling. And now I'm a bit creeped out. Brilliant stuff. Too speechless to say anything more helpful.Wow.

Very good. I'd add a comma after "you" in line four. Other than that, I really can't find any serious faults with this. It was beautiful and well developed, and ...

Wow, I love was really beautiful, and I loved the last stanza, the contrasts there were amazing.Your imagery was fresh and interesting. I wish I could say something more constructive, ...

Lovely. This put me in a good mood :D You'd make a great motivational speaker!This was really beautiful.

Brilliant.I loved it. It was really descriptive, and, as always, beautifully written. I'm useless at this kind of piece, so I'm completely awe-struck. Well done!